Tag Archives: Minnesota Vikings


25 Nov
A Bronze tom

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This morning my alarm fails to go off but I jolt awake anyways and sit up in a haze of confusion.  True, my dreams were crazy as all hell, and for whatever reason I slept with the window open, causing a cold breeze to sweep through my apartment, but this still doesn’t account for my sudden rise from REM.

Could it be that my body was waking me to get first dibs on the expected aroma of turkey and yams that paint the air of my moms house on Thanksgiving? Possibly, but as it turns out, I still live in Korea.

Earlier in the week, while haphazardly attempting  to make plans with other Americans for the holiday, I pictured myself spending Thanksgiving with an overpriced bottle of Hennessy, and a nice turkey sandwich. Back in the states my family is converging on Savannah, GA and I get pissed when I think about all the good food I’m about to miss out on. Sure I could have made reservations and spent the dough to eat a traditional Thanksgiving dinner here in Busan, but it wouldn’t have been the same, or even comparable.

Two days ago Kim Jong Il decides to show his ass again and makes it rain artillery on the south, yesterday I just about loose it over the lack of plans I have for turkey day and today I spend the morning hunched over in a chair  giving speaking tests to my 6th graders. Until about an hour ago I felt there was very little to give thanks for.

Then I read a comforting Thanksgiving post by a fellow Busanite blogger and suddenly my shitty perspective on spending the holiday abroad comes correct.

I’m not back home where a blizzard is raging, there are still plenty of trees in my neighborhood with leaves on them, I get paid today, I found the heat switch for my office, Das Racist is playing in Busan tomorrow, The pimple on my forehead is going away, one of my worst students aced her speaking test, SOMEBODY actually reads this blog, I’m going to Thailand after I finish my winter English camp (which is already “planned”), my family isn’t bothering me to come home in light of the recent northern agression, I’m still having a blast in this strange country (with plenty of new friends scattered about the peninsula),  I’ve kicked writer’s block for the time being, I haven’t been called a nigger by a Korean (at least in English), Sarah Palin is still saying dumb-ass shit in the media, I know how to moonwalk, the Vikings finally fired Brad “what-the-fuck-kind-of play-call-was-that” Childress, a Canadian wished me happy Thanksgiving, my co-teacher didn’t ask me tell the “story” of the first Thanksgiving, slavery is abolished in the states, my students finally learned the (not so) secret handshake I’ve been trying to teach them for months, and lastly, later tonight  I’m meeting up with a bunch of other American Busanites who failed to make “proper” Thanksgiving arrangements. We’ll spend the holiday however we damn well please.

No, it doesn’t exactly feel like Thanksgiving, but I have plenty to give thanks for.


Kimchi Dreadlocks


A Thanks is in Order!

10 Sep

A few days ago one of my favorite K-bloggers dropped a link to my blog on his site. His name is Mr. Wonderful. Now some folks can’t stand the man, and really, they have good reason. When he’s not dropping lines on how fucked up the U.S. economy is, or giving us a look into his (un)interesting home life, he’s usually talking shit about other bloggers in Korea or stiring up controversy with his satanical rants. That being said, I’m addicted to his blog. Even before I arrived on the shores of the R.O.K. he was the first stop in my RSS reader. Why? I like his writing. He has a simple format that seems to work for him and the more he beefs with other bloggers the more traffic he stirs up. I’m not jocking his style, but rather saying I’m a fan. Many a reader has first loved and then hated Mr. Wonderful. Me? I’ll give him props for writing bullshit and making smell it like tulips in the spring time.

But I’m not here to stroke the man’s cock! Instead I just want to give a proper thanks, and to offer a response to his seemingly well intentioned advice.  He says I need to cut the length of my blog posts and present more action and less thought–the old “show don’t tell” approach to journalism.

Here’s the thing. While this is something that would rightly piss me off any other day,  I’m not offended one bit. I got all type of posts from friends on my FB page advising me to tell Mr. Wonderful to kindly fuck off. Normally that would be my strategy, but I respect my elders; my mother wouldn’t have it any other way. Plus it’s not like the man found me out on the playground and called me pussy, looking to jack my milk money. And even if he did, he linked to my site and traffic went through the roof. I didn’t have to pay a dime. Furthermore, I wouldn’t want to pick a fight with a vet, even if it’s just for heightened blog stats. The literary spanking he gave Jimmy of Strange Lands is proof that the man knows his way around the yard. In fact Mr. Wonderful might have been trying to drop a compliment on your dear Jaywoodseyo. You’re not getting soft on me ole’ boy are ya?

That being said, Dreadlocks on the ROKS is my sandbox homie. I’m too damn cocky (read critical) about my writing to be hell bent on changing up my style. As I continue to post my shit will either get better in time or putt out once I’m low on juice. My point? I’ll be writing regardless of the outcome, and when my time in Korea is said and done, I’ll save it to show my youngins someday. You may preach the gospel brother, but on my blog, I’m a slave only to my editing. I do plan on posting more often,–I finally got the internet hooked up in my apartment–but when it comes down to it, I got a life to lead as well. Unlike some of these other wanna-be -journalist-user friendly-bloggers here in Korea (you know the type I’m talking about Mr. Dubs), I don’t post about every nook, cranny and shit hole I travel to. Sorry, too busy enjoying my time.

I like your style champ. You got a format that works, you’re unapologetic and I think you might even be a football fan (my Vikings took an ass whoopin today from Brees and his hooligans), but I’m gonna keep doing my thing the best way I know how for my readers. I’m not out to get famous like you brother. I just want to tell good stories.

So without further ado: Thanks champ. I can’t promise a damn thing in terms of how my posts will change (other than they will be more frequent from now on), but I always welcome advice from other writers. We’re a dying breed right? Take care of yourself on the rice paddy and I’ll hold things down in Busan.


Kimchi Dreadlocks

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