Tag Archives: McDonalds

Chew With Your Mouth Closed!

18 Sep

Mr. Wonderful recently wrote about his experience with a noodle slurping Korean at a PC bang. The poor bastard had to sit there and listen to a man consume his lunch as if he were eating from a trough. I feel your pain, Mr. Wonderful.

There are few things in this world that annoy me as much as loud eaters. Really, how hard can it be to simply close your mouth while chewing? I blame my mother. As a child “smacking” at the table would get you promptly slapped in the back of the head. The ordeal has scarred me for life.

I hate to generalize, but it seems Koreans have vast difficulties eating quietly. It’s not like they’re trying to be rude or annoying. In fact, I’m pretty sure they don’t even notice it.

Lunch time at my school is really a struggle. Soup is served everyday, and everyday I have to keep from flipping the fuck out on my fellow Korean teachers. I love them, but they have no clue of how much I die a little bit everyday due to their eating habits.

I’m less patient in public.

The other day I’m minding my own business, hijacking Wi Fi at the local McDonalds, and my web surfing is interrupted by some dickhead who sounds as if he is attacking his value meal rather than eating it. When I look over and realize he’s only eating french fries I just about loose it. Visions parade through my mind of me stabbing the prick in the neck with my spork. Instead I shoot him a few glares hoping he’ll get the message to close his mouth while chomping on his fries. Instead, he  smiles and offers me one, which I shamelessly accept.

Still, even though I hate a loud eater, I almost never comment on it when I’m around one. The shit does make me cringe in angst, but I would hate to give a lecture to someone on something as natural and instinctive as eating. It just isn’t right. Guess I’ll have to put up with it, at least in Korea.

Ciao,

Kimchi Dreadlocks

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